- - Housewives' Heather Gay calls Mormonism 'a cult' as she meets abuse survivors in new doc

Justin Ravitz, USA TODAY November 11, 2025 at 6:55 PM

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Housewives' Heather Gay calls Mormonism 'a cult' as she meets abuse survivors in new doc

"Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" fans love Heather Gay for her bawdy fearlessness and ability to sleuth things out and confront them. (On the much-memed season four finale, she exposed the identity of an interloper named Reality Von Tease in their midst, shouting "Receipts! Timelines! Proof!") She puts that skill to use in a serious new project, "Surviving Mormonism," Bravo's three-part docuseries, which premieres Thursday, November 11 at 9:45 p.m.

Gay, who retold her own exit from the Church on "Housewives" and in two books, meets with fellow ex-Mormons who say they endured childhood sexual abuse at the hands of family members and Church elders; when victims attempted to bring these crimes to light, they claim that the Church systemically silenced and suppressed them. The reality star also meets participants who say they were traumatized after attending Church-approved gay conversion therapy programs.

Gay says she first started hearing from current and former members of the Church of Latter-day Saints following the release of her first book "Bad Mormon." "I was getting DMs from people that had stories to tell," she tells USA TODAY. "I had been this devout lifelong member and had never for one second considered people's abuse stories [or] anything critical of this institution. I didn't know a single negative thing about it. I would hear little twits and buzzes, and I would just shut them off, ignore them completely."

She understands how hard it is to turn away from a faith that is such a cornerstone in your life. "These are people that dedicated their lives to this church, and the second they walk away from it, they lose all of that."

USA TODAY reached out to representatives for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for comment. "As followers of Jesus Christ, we condemn abuse in any form," the Church states on its official website.

On the show, you call the Church a cult. Is that your belief?

I never believed it was a cult when I was a member. I believed it was the only true church on the face of the earth and that we were saving humanity. But I've read, studied, been in therapy, and learned [about] mind control, cult techniques and cult behavior. And that's where I felt comfortable saying, 'Yeah, I was raised in a cult.' I am slowly deconstructing the imprint that it left.

I'm not really interested in protecting the Church anymore. I'm more interested in defending and protecting the survivors.

Mormonism is mainstream now, part of pop culture – not just "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake," but MomTok, trad wives, "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." What would you say to these famous practicing Mormons and their fans?

This show is not about taking away the joy you feel in the practice of your faith. It's not trying to take away from your beliefs or the things that you hold sacred. It is about these brave survivors that experienced a dark side of the Church you hold dear. And it would be irresponsible for us to think that these stories didn't exist.

Now that you've left the Church, how are you redefining your faith?

God is a huge part of my life. I built my life around my allegiance to God, and it was everything. I built my entire identity around it. Now, my prayers are Mormon prayers. My scriptures that come to mind are steeped in Mormonism. I don't want to cut off my faith in God because I've turned my back on [the Church] And that's the process I'm in right now—finding God and redefining how I have that spirituality in my life. It's left a huge void. And it felt freeing at first, to live free of all of those restrictions. But there's also the beautiful, spiritual, wonderful side of my faith practice that I'm slowly working to rebuild.

What aspects of Mormonism can survive without the institution of the Church? What is left?

So much good. Family and love of God, integrity, grit, pioneer grit. They say that Mormonism is the great American religion. We are hardworking, organized, dedicated people that really care for each other and try to care for the community outside of ours. But at the same time, when you have that much of an identity and community, you have to know that there are shadow sides to all of that. And being unwilling to look at them is a huge red flag.

How are things these days with your family?

I don't have a relationship with my family. I have a relationship with one sibling that's left the Church and he lives abroad. But I don't have a relationship with my family, and I don't have a close relationship with many of my active Mormon friends, because it's too big of a divide.

What about the housewives that are practicing Mormons, like Lisa Barlow?

When it was announced, Lisa immediately reached out, which I thought was quite incredible. And she wished me well, and I thanked her. I'm sure it's a really complicated thing for her. That was a great hopeful sign that there can be dialogue. Mormons should not be afraid to listen to people that had bad experiences. That culture should change.

Who else is in your support network right now?

It sounds a little bit silly, but my Housewives are my family. They are my sisters. They are my best friends. They are the only ones that get me and I get them. We all have each other's backs in Salt Lake. There's like 10 famous people in Salt Lake and six of them are Housewives. This community, the Bravo community, has replaced the Church community for me, and it is much more inclusive, much more freeing, and much more fulfilling than the community I had as a Mormon.

PARK CITY, UTAH - JANUARY 25: Heather Gay attends Casamigos at TAO Park City on January 25, 2025 in Park City, Utah. (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images for Casamigos)

Has making this intense docuseries changed your attitude about Housewives?

I feel more grounded and more purposeful. At the same time, I really value and love the frivolity, fun and craziness of Housewives. I said after filming the docuseries, "Housewives is a lot more fun." As crazy and hectic as it is, it's a lot lighter, it's a lot more alcohol and a lot more food. I'm also deeply grateful to "Housewives" because it gave me the visibility and platform to do what I think is the most important thing I've ever done.

Have your daughters watched yet?

They haven't seen the screeners, but they saw the trailer and they are super supportive and really, really proud of me. And I'm mostly proud that I've broken that generational chain for them, that the lingering parts that affected me negatively, that they are free from.

Do you want them to sort of make a similar choice as you?

They're never going back. That bridge is burned. Now that they're living (elsewhere), they're independent of it. That was the greatest work I've done, to get them out and get them on their way.

Did you ever think 10 years ago you'd be a reality TV star on magazine covers?

No. Never in a million years. You could name the last five things I've done and ask me if they were ever even on a bucket list for me. My life is so immeasurably better than I could have ever imagined. And I look back on that 10-year-old little girl that thought she was going to have to give up all of her dreams in order to be a good Mormon wife and mother—and I gave up the wrong dreams and now I'm living my real dream.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Housewives' Heather Gay blasts Mormon Church in new doc

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